As Birds Georgia looks ahead to 200 years…

As we celebrate Bird Georgia's Centennial year in 2026, writer Steve Phenicie imagines what the celebration may look like 100 years from now.

The date is Friday, March 15, 2126, and Birds Georgia is celebrating its 200th anniversary with a big wingding. The executive director begins the program with a few announcements (as executive directors always like to do):

• Registration for the organization’s annual birding trip to Mars is now open. The cost is only $11.7 million per person, and all oxygen is included. Master Birders will receive a 10 percent discount. Participants must provide their own space suits.
• With the Passenger Pigeon again darkening the skies after being resurrected late in the 21 st century via artificial intelligence, Florida tourism officials are complaining. “The Sunshine State has to have sunshine,” they say. A spokesperson for the National Audubon Society says, “It wouldn’t be right to just say, ‘Let them eat suet.’ We’re willing to meet with these people to discuss what they’re squawking about.”
• A record number of Ivory-billed Woodpeckers was reported this year in Atlanta’s Christmas Bird Count. AI has also done wonders for this bird and has been used to create habitat in places where it never existed to begin with, such as on the sites of long-outmoded data centers.
• The introduction of self-cleaning streets, sidewalks, and parking lots a few years ago has been devastating to House Sparrows. Therefore, the Habitat Restoration Team will hold a work day on Saturday to throw trash around the metro area. Fast food wrappers and spilled French fries will be provided, but bring your own if you can. A sign-up sheet is available at the back of the room.
• The board is backing a movement to make the pigeon our national bird. The reason: There’s strong evidence that pigeons were cheering (or at least cooing) in the tower of the Old North Church 350 years ago when the patriots lit those famous lanterns. Eagles, meanwhile, were just out in the harbor eating dead fish, oblivious to the big deal that was taking place.
• More and more toucans are showing up in metro Atlanta as a result of climate change, and collisions are becoming a problem. Owners of older-model flying cars are cautioned to always activate their “toucan avoidance device” before going anywhere. Models built after 2123 activate the device automatically, of course.
• Bird Fest this year will feature a bird walk to see non-existent birds. The headliner will be John J. Audubon’s ever-elusive Carbonated Warbler. For obvious reasons, Coca-Cola has agreed to co-sponsor this event. Other target birds will be Foghorn Leghorn, the Little Red Hen, Donald Duck, Tweety Bird, Woodsy Owl, Big Bird, Heckle and Jeckle, and Chicken Little. Possibilities, if we are very lucky, are Henny Penny, Cocky Locky, Ducky Lucky, Goosey Loosey, and Turkey Lurkey. The walk will be led by Mother Goose. How is all this possible? Ah, the wonders of more AI!

​So will it really be like this a century from now? You won’t know unless you attend!
Save the date – Friday, March 15, 2126, 7 p.m. sharp!